Heading to Burma, contraband porno

Heading to Burma tomorrow. The Kuala Lumpur low-budget terminal is rather in the middle of nowhere, so leaving at 1:00 AM for a 6:55 AM flight—c’est le vie. Have booked into a place in Yangon, successfully acquired shiny new money, and am getting excited.

This is a picture of J.V Lane.

I was walking through Malacca’s Customs Museums when I saw the photos, one of which I’ve uploaded above.

They were of young men in formal Customs attire, staring with great seriousness into the camera: they were all Malays, it seemed, except for one. The photo above is dated 1958, and perhaps it shows.

He was a white man with sunglasses, and he wore the popular shorts and knee-socks of the time, that emphasized his bird-like and skinny legs. He stares into the camera with a half-cocked smile: in fact, he has the same odd, mildly awkward expression on in all five of the photographs. His name, as I found out, was J.V. Lane.

J.V. Lane has largely been lost to history, or at least he might have been in a latter era.

Today, there is the Internet. I was able to identify him within 10 minutes: he comes up in a book a bit too-cleverly named “Asian Customs.”

His name, in fact, was James Vincent Lane, and he had been sent to Malacca in an attempt to teach Malays how to run an efficient British customs system, after Malaysia attained independence in 1957.

Vincent helped to set up a customs schools for Malays, and describes the attractive landscaping of the campus, and how he “resisted the temptation to ask for a tennis court.” (But there was badminton).

Highly amusing contraband porno at the Malacca Customs Museum. note the delicately hidden dildo.

Vincent also helped set up an exhibit on the “black arts” of smugglers for the students, remnants of which may make up the modern-day, public Customs Museum in Malacca. I would like to imagine J.V. Lane busily curating the displays of naughty bits and illicit Islamic items in his off-time.

He kept a diary, which I want to get my hands upon. This passage is all I could find on the man online, but I imagine more exists in dusty records somewhere in Malaysia or in London.

I would like to find out if he is alive or not, and where he ended up. Did he go back to England? Did he live out his days in Malaysia, or elsewhere in Asia? Has he continued to wear knee-socks and sunglasses, and will I run into a very old man somewhere in Myanmar wearing such an outfit, and immediately be able to say “Hey, I wrote about you on the Internet!”?

He interests me because he illustrates the strange power of the Internet: that I could Google this person, largely lost to the past, and find out about him is quite meaningful—at least, that’s how I see it.

4 thoughts on “Heading to Burma, contraband porno

  1. Sophie Chatfield

    Dear Faine. My name is Sophie Chatfield (nee Lane) – Vincent Lane is my father. I looked up his name on the internet today, and came across your entry. Sadly he died yesterday, age 91.My mother Sue is also 91 – they were together for 74 years. Vincent was an amazing man, and I’m sure you would have loved to meet him. Setting up the training school in Mayaysia was one of many adventures, in Hong Kong, Iran and later France, and finally north Wales.

  2. Wow, thanks so much for commenting! (And I am sorry you had to find this in a post labeled “contraband porno.”)

    He looked like a very cool person — may he rest in peace,and what an adventure of a life! I certainly would have loved to meet him.

    What years was he in Hong Kong? He may have overlapped with my family there. He bears a rather considerable resemblance to my own grandfather (now 84) when he was young, which is part of why I poked around to find out more about him.

    Best, and thanks for your reply!

    1. Sophie Chatfield

      Thank you so much for replying. What a shame you didn’t have a chance to chat to him over the internet and find out more from ‘the horse’s mouth’ as they say. He was in HK from ’68 to ’78, I was 3 when we went out by sea to join my father who was already there setting up the company house and working for Hong Kong Electric company as a personnel manager. By the way, he was John Vincent not James Vincent altho everyone called him by his second name, Vincent. Enjoy your travels
      Sophie

      1. Thanks for clarifying on the names! (I had to poke around a bit to get the full name, at the Malacca museum it was just “J.V. Vincent). You may have overlapped with my family there – my grandfather was working for DOW chemical in HK at that time. I definitely would have loved to have spoken with him…though I am glad you contacted me. I was rather hoping something like that would happen when I posted the blog. The magic of the Internet…

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