Eels in unexpected places, pork shortages: as one does

New Zealand Man Seeks Emergency Treatment for Eel Lodged in His Posterior – GlobalPost 

Every writer occasionally produces work they consider an intellectual—perhaps even moral—victory.

This is not one of those times, but I had fun doing it.

My favorite line:

“New Zealand’s eels are known for their secretive nature and their fondness for dark and confined spaces, according to New Zealand’s Department of Conservation.

They’re also considered ‘legendary climbers,’ which ‘have made their way well inland.’ Extrapolate from that what you will.”

I also got to create this image to describe the impending terror awaiting us when we all run out of pork and are forced to salt and fry each other:

Obviously, I am a Very Serious Young Mind.

EDIT: Also this, in reference to this:

Cushion pusher:  Wisconsin man accused of having sex with couch

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